Home of filmmaker, improviser, and decent dude Geoff Ross.

You may recall that earlier this month I went on and on about something. Now that February is ending (Is it just me or has this been the longest February in the history of mankind? No, I don’t know what hyperbole is.) here’s a brief update on some of that stuff.

1. I’ve adjusted to the new work schedule and have been pleased with it. Plus, no rickets! AWESOME!

2. I did see my family for the birthday dinner. Right now the next time I’ll see them in the flesh is Easter weekend. I have to make some schedule change requests at work before I can confirm that, though.

3. The Society for Reasonable People did meet. In fact we met earlier this week. I went with my Zombies! and did a better job at promoting its merits this time around. That project is a go. That being said, To the Moon is by no means dead…just delayed.

4. The Arlington video is still a W.I.P.

5. The sketch video shoot is scheduled for Monday, March 2nd. I’ve boarded it and planned it to be shot in a fast and loose style that I haven’t done for a narrative project in years. This excites me.

6. I did sign up for improv 201 (and 301 for that matter). For those of you in the New York area your opportunity to see Geoff Ross Liveâ„¢ is coming! March 8th. Noon. The UCB Theatre. The LOLs…there will be thousands.

Last night I went to the UCB Theatre with Russ, Greg, Devito, Amanda, Ariel, and a bunch of Ariel’s friends whose names and faces I refuse to remember. I was unable to sell the idea of going to an improv show late at night on a Monday to M or to Keenan for that matter. I was more surprised that I was unable to convince Keenan to go, but, in his defense, he may be in India right now. That’s sort of far away. We saw 2 Square starring John Lutz (a writer for SNL and an actor on 30 Rock where he plays…a writer) and Peter Grosz (a writer for The Colbert Report and one half of those two guys in those Sonic commercials). It was excellent. So much so I may start calling myself Randolph MaMillionaire from now on.

That’s not the point though.

The point is I had a good time, but on my way back to the Brooklyn Sexateriaâ„¢ (Today’s special? Chastity.) I thought about all the stuff I still have to do. That brought me down. But, since I have a website with my name on it, I thought I would subject you all to my ramblings. Enjoy.

1. Two of my co-workers got laid-off. What that means for me is my work schedule is changing. Drastically. The good news is I will work when the sun’s up. Finally I will get that Vitamin D all the kids are talking about. I don’t want rickets. However, the schedule change will wreak havoc on my private life. I will have to cancel on people I prefer not to cancel on. Like my parents.

2. My parents live upstate. Also they work in the city. Despite this I haven’t seen them since Christmas. I try to drop by the house once a month, but that has been difficult to do over the past three. I told them I would try to make it to the house this weekend, but that looks unlikely now. To make matters worse, my Dad’s birthday is coming up (February 12th same as Lincoln) as is my brother Chris’ birthday (February 9th same as Ziyi) so I need to see my family. No excuses. On the week of the 9th, now to be known as The Ross Birthday Weekâ„¢, there is some potential to meet up with the family for a celebratory dinner on the 12th. Not quite the same as a visit, but better than nothing.

3. I formed a screenwriting club. I call it the Society for Reasonable People because it is such bland-sounding name that it sounds like it is hiding something fascinating. I like it. We meet once a month. The first meeting was in January and went well. I pitched two stories that I had a decent grasp of (Zombies! and To The Moon) and one that was just a concept (Milf). Of the three Milf had the best title, of course, but I felt Zombies! was the strongest. The group disagreed. They liked To The Moon the best. I was caught off-guard by that. I think they preferred it because its main character was an eight-year-old kid with big dreams whereas Zombies! stars a bitter old man who has lived past his prime in a world that doesn’t want him anymore. The task I put before everyone was to complete one’s “next step” before the next meeting. Even though it has been almost a month I still haven’t decided which story I want to do. Either I will follow my gut and pursue Zombies! or honor the reason I got these people together in the first place, their expert opinion, and pursue To The Moon. Well, I have until the next meeting to decide. The next meeting is scheduled for the 11th…right in the middle of The Ross Birthday Weekâ„¢.

Yeah, that’s not going to happen. Since we all have to do more at work the 11th is no longer viable for the meeting. I’ll have to reschedule. I don’t like delaying promises I’ve made to people. I don’t like being flakey.

4. In October 2008 my late Grandfather was laid to rest at Arlington Cemetery. I attended along with my family. It was a phenomenal experience that I won’t witness again. I videotaped it. That wasn’t my original plan. In fact, it was never my plan. No, Mom asked me to do it. On the one hand I was upset that this videotaping plan was sprung on me as I was stepping out the door. I felt (and continue to feel) that videotaping is just pointing-a-camera-at-something to most people while to me videotaping ceased being pointing-a-camera-at-something at age seven and has since evolved into put-your-heart-and-soul-into-something. It takes a lot of thought, energy, and deliberate intent to do well. Plus, I don’t like phoning shit in so there is no off-button on the madness machine. On the other hand my Grandfather (My Mom’s Dad) had just died, was being laid to rest, and my Mom was asking me to do what I’m sure from her perspective was a simple task. My only argument against videotaping was that I just didn’t want to do it. I felt that was a selfish reason and, yes, I taped it. Soon after the event I offered to edit the video into something watchable. This was in October. Of 2008.

I still haven’t finished it. The project has become an open-loop gnawing at the base of my brain. Every time I try to relax or be social the voice in my head says, “Hey, what about that Arlington video? Shouldn’t you be doing that?” Yes. Yes, I should. It always gets delayed behind Grad school applications, work, writing, and God knows what else, but the simple fact of the matter is I just have to stop being a lazy, flakey douche and get it done.

5. Greg and Devito asked me to shoot some sketch comedy videos for them. Sounds good to me. I’ve made a few storyboards for the project and I’m looking forward to it. I still have to do a location scout of the restaurant, get in some rehearsal time with the actors, and, of course, do the actual shoot. I proposed to do the scout this Tuesday, but Greg wasn’t available so that plan went down the memory hole. The revised proposed scout date is Sunday, but that is looking troublesome now. Rehearsal has not been scheduled, but the shoot itself is scheduled for the 22nd. That date has problems too. It looks like I will have to work some of my scheduling magicâ„¢ on this one.

6. I met Greg, Devito, Russ, Amanda, Ariel, Keenan, and countless more crazies at the Improv 101 class I took at the UCB Theatre. I had a great time. So much so that I’ve signed up for Improv 201. This time around it is an intensive class which means it meets more times during the week, but only for two weeks. It starts on the 23rd. Despite the recent schedule changes, the Improv 201 class should survive the scheduling magic that I am giving serious consideration to patenting. When shit gets difficult I sometimes think that being funny is the only skill I have. Until I took Improv 101 I was doing nothing to hone it. I glad I did something about it.

I was a funny kid from the moment I learned how to talk and felt the simple pleasure from making someone else smile. I’ve grown into a funny adult who still gets that same pleasure from that same gesture. I like it. I acknowledge that far too often I use my own humor as a crutch in social situations when “being normal” would do. Trust me, I’m working on it. But, I enjoy being funny. I enjoy entertaining. I enjoy making things and showing them to people. I like being social. I like having events and tasks and things to do. I like, well, being Geoff. So while I was reminded of all the stuff I have to do and was brought down by the weight of it all I was at the same time reminded that while, yes, it’s a lot of stuff, the majority of it is stuff I want to do. Last night I went out with some friends, saw a show, and had a good time.

And, really, I don’t feel so down about it anymore.

What I’ve decided to do with the script is close the door on reader responses. For people who I haven’t heard anything in the 22-23 days they’ve had the script they’ve been told that I’m not taking their responses. The people who bothered to mention something to me (i.e. they’re busy, need more time, in the middle of it, etc.) are being given until the 27th to get their thoughts back to me.

For me this all means that I have to prep for Draft Fourâ„¢ immediately. Well, after tomorrow’s fantasy football draft.

It took forever, but it’s done: Draft Three of Death Girl is done. Now I am waiting for my WGA registration to come back. Once that happens I will approach my Draft Two readers and see if they are up for another round. Then I will find additional new readers for Draft Three.

And maybe take a nap.

note: this post was written before I went out-of-state. Also it is largely an excerpt of an e-mail I wrote to my trusted readers.

There has been far too much radio silence on the Death Girl’s progress. I thought I would take a moment to update y’all at once.

I’m working on it.

I underestimated how long it would take me to adjust to my job and get my writing done at the same time. That slowed me down. Add in the recent passing of my grandfather I haven’t been writing as much as I would like. But, now I’m getting my pages done and progress is quickening. In draft three the major improvements are with the relationships between characters and the relationship between the two companies. In addition, there are some new things.

What you will see: Yachts, Static, and Emerald eyes
What you won’t see: Zombies, Robots, and The Beast with Two Backs

There may also be references to ball-sacks, turds, and corporate incompetence. But, I can’t make any promises. Which leads me to the other big question: When will it be done?

Soon.

Also in the news: Liberty City Police Face Allegations Of Incompetence, Brutality.

The reader responses continue to trickle in. Two major patterns are emerging. One, people like the script. Two, every single reader is confused about the two fictional companies in the story. I’m happy about the first one and a bit embarrassed by the second. I had never even considered that those two organizations would be a cause of concern. In fact, I doubted people would notice them much at all.

Clearly, I’m an idiot.

For draft three I’m focusing a great deal of my effort towards clarifying who these companies are, what they do, why they are rivals, and what that has to do with the central storyline. Ultimately, this was the point of getting readers involved in this process. I never would have addressed this issue if it was left solely up to me. I thank all ya’ll readers for that. Without you this story would be far more confusing.

Hmm, no reader responses yesterday. I may have been spoiled. Oh well. While we wait let’s distract ourselves with this bizarre graffiti stop-motion video.

I’m impatient. According to my Mom I always have been. It’s an ongoing battle. When I sent the script out to readers earlier this week, yes, I wanted to hear back from them two seconds later. But, I’m at least old enough and smart enough to know that that wasn’t going to happen. I convinced myself that, at the earliest, I could expect a response by Monday. Even that would be a stretch.

I was wrong.

Nell got her reader response in yesterday. She beat everyone else by a presumably large margin. Congratulations are in order! Good job, Nell. You showed those jerks who’s who and what’s what. For your efforts I have a retractable ballpoint pen with your name on it. Well, not literally your name. It has the name of Aqua Resorts on it. But, if you changed your name…

Yeah, I got a lot more interest from readers than I expected. I thought I might be able get four people to read it. Right now I have eleven. I have to admit that’s a little intimidating.

I imagine at least two of you are interested in how draft two is coming along. Well, you’ve come to the right place. Draft two currently stands at 106 pages which is seven less than the first draft’s 113 pages. I do the math for you so you don’t have to! You can thank me later.

So far two entire sequences have been removed wholesale. Also, three characters have vanished into the ether. Say goodbye to Messenger Thomas, Old Man, and Tommy of Tommy’s Guns (The puntastically named gun store…that whole scene is gone now). Some character reveals and their relationships between one another have been pushed back further into the story. I felt that I was giving out too much information too early and before an audience would care to have that information in the first place. Now one of our last major characters is introduced on page 30 as opposed to page 12. However, our true last major character has moved up only from page 36 to page 35. Not much of a change, but I thought it was worth mentioning.

I still need to put on my analyst’s hat and give this new draft another thorough scrubbing. I plan on making this draft the one that I send out to the round one readers (a list I still have to make, by the way) and I want to make a good impression. Or at least a clean way. Relatively.

I am going back to the city in a couple hours. When I return I have to make a couple DVDs to be sent out tomorrow and, of course, get started on draft two. As usual, I will provide you with more information than you could ever want.

*Achoo!* Oh god….*sneeze* Oh… *cough/sneeze/cough* Ugh.

Yeah, not so good. I’ve been sneezing since last night. How much sneezing? About half my weight in snot, I think. Wrap that image around your noodle and eat it! Do as I say! Anyway, that hasn’t been too much fun. But, that’s not why you come here, is it? No, you come here for the faint hope that by reading this a candy bar will pop out of your computer. Well, that’s not going to happen. Not today at least.

No. Today is read-through-the-draft day. I’ve now lived through my days off of writing and the time has come to gear up for draft 2 (:cruise control). Today I’ll give draft 1 a thorough once-over and then rub my chin like a would-be smart person. Oh, and I’ll be all like, “Hmmmm.” Then I’ll step away from it once again, do another read-through tomorrow, rub my chin and be all like, “oh.” That’s when I’ll scribble down the draft 2 plan. Of course, if I am sufficiently inspired, that could happen today, but it doesn’t have to.

Once draft 2 is complete I’ll send it out to readers. This script is something that I want to make into a movie so the feedback of others is of paramount importance. The best kind of importance. Also of importance? The plan for turning the script into a movie. I can tell you right now that once the readers have finished it one of their first questions are going to be, “How in the hell is this jerkass gonna make this into a movietype?” Stay tuned, Kids.

:: Obama drinks your milkshake. He drinks it up.

Current page count: 101
Elapsed time: 20 days
*new stat* Knives to groins (ouch): 1 so far
*new stat* Characters named Pill Man: 1

Director Guy Ricthie hasn’t made a movie I’ve enjoyed in quite some time. However, he has made a few great commercials. This is the latest.

Current page count: 94
Elapsed time: 18 days
*new stat* number of DUCATI HYPERMOTARD 1100s: 1
*new stat* Number of unread messages: 3243